As expected, I wasn't as thrilled as I should be. The climax was usually the countdown moments before the last paper.
Went straight to Cheras for cell group after exam. Our last meeting for the semester! The next time we come back we're going to have a new member joining us! Yay~~~!! d^^b
Tonight we shared mainly about our 40-day fasting and praying, what we have encountered so far and stuff like that. I wasn't planning to share about anything serious. I thought of my grandma who was hospitalised last week but was discharged few days back... and I thought, that was one good testimony to share. In the end I didnt know why but I talked about how I felt that God's glory had left me that sort of thing. Like God's calling was once upon me and then I didn't manage to get hold of that kyros moment and it just swept past me. Like how God's anointing had swept past Saul and went to David. Saul died a tragic death. And I shudder at the thought of ending up like him. All the effort previously gone just like that. Burnt to ashes.
When I first gave my life to Christ, I knew that I was going to be in this field, and I dreamt big dreams for God. Dreams so big that I don't dare to share with others because they sound ridiculous to my own ears. They were all by simple faith and a pure heart. Now, looking back, I suddenly feel that I am not at all equipped to do His work.
By His love He reminded me through my leader that I am to give thanks. That He hasn't forgotten me and obviously hasn't left me. That all these are convictions from the Holy Spirit who was reminding me of my big dreams. I guess I was the one taking a few steps back and then a few more steps back. He was there all the time. God's trying to save me here before my fire's snuffed out. He's saying that it's time to step out of my comfort zone.
And I want to praise Him for all that... how much He has encouraged me through my leader. It was like a deliverance that no one knows has taken place. Just what I needed to get rid of the vile lies of the devil!
Get behind me, Satan! My God is a warlord!