Taking a break from doing my teaching aids for Teaching Practice (from now onwards it’ll be just TP lah ya)…
My third day at school has just ended. B and me both felt that we’d been in the school for a long, long time. It feels more like 3 weeks. Countdown? 52 more days to go. TT
Now I really know how it feels like to work. It’s not as pleasant as expected. It’s not the workload or anything. It’s school politics. Some people say that the education field is ‘darker’ than any other fields.
Today I came home quite a subdued me. I seemed to have made quite a bad impression on a teacher who may become my Mentor, which means she has the power to grade me.
Frankly, I still did not know EXACTLY what I did wrong. I have countless speculations in my mind that I think might have upset her. Perhaps wrong usage of vocab when I talked to her for the very first time? Or lacking in greeting and smiles? Or is it the way I carry myself which sends out an odour of arrogance (back in sec sch a lot of ppl thought I was a peacock until they really got to know me and all I could say was, ‘…’ *speechless*)?
Or some teachers just plain dislike practical teachers because they tend to mess up their teaching plans, do not bother to make sure the pupils learn and leave the dirty job of catching up for the sch teachers after 3 months? (If this is the case, I could very well understand.)
Well, it’s not fun to get cold shoulders and just ‘yes’ and ‘no’ for answers… but I’m sure God is teaching me a lesson of humility and servanthood. I know I have this problem of pride and perfectionist thingy in me that I have to get rid of. It’s just that the process of being molded is so painful and uncomfortable.
I know He is always showing me that I should depend on Him and not on my own strength.
I know it’s when times are difficult and things go well that I’ll give glory to God whole-heartedly with joy and thanksgiving instead of crediting myself for the outcome.
I know that His grace is sufficient for me.
I know that He wants me to trust in Him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding; in all my ways acknowledge Him, and He will make my paths straight.
Thank You Daddy.
A song that has been running across my head this evening:
唯有你 唯有你 主啊 你是我的唯一
我爱你 我心欢畅 哦主啊感谢你
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7