I don't know how I should pen this down, but this is the worst day of my life. Cut the conflicts earlier, they're so nothing compared to this.
I never knew I had the ability to kill. And yet I did. Came back from dinner with Jong & Caryn and sat at the porch talking.. Louis took out QQ for me after a while. And God, he was still actively scurrying up and down in his cage. Fearful that he might bite, we got Louis to catch him out and place in my palm.. He was still alive, sniffing around. Then he bit me. Then out of playfulness I tossed him up in the air and caught him.. once, twice, ... and missed..................................................
He just lied there not moving. He would have. Usually he would have. I picked him up. He looked like he's in pain. I passed it to Louis. Do something! Louis felt his heartbeat. But he's not moving. His eyes were closed. Louis rubbed his chest. He trembled violently. Louis brought him into the house.
A while later, his heart was no longer beating. He's not moving. His eyes were open.
I killed my own hamster. How could I have done it?? He was alive and active and fat. I thought the orange cat was his biggest threat, but never did I realise I was his biggest enemy.