Let me finish with the treasure hunt story in the midst of cleaning & packing 1st before we go to other business ya..
Well, there had always been this regret in me and it struck me even more when I came across this that day..
a door gift kinda thing for GA Youth Jesus 7 when they just started the ministry at the end of 2006
That was like.. 2 years plus ago.. We were assigned to come out with something useful which ppl would keep and at the same time served as a reminder bout our meetings. And since we were so ayam kampung at that time & didnt know wad microsoft publisher was, we actually typed out the calendar ourselves! Haha.. so silly.. that’s why the alignment ran a bit..
Anyway, back to the point, and that was, we left the Youth group after that, which seems like there’s no turning back now. I could still remember vividly the day when we told our cell leaders that we could not commit ourselves anymore. It was very emotional, so much so that sometimes when I reflected back I couldnt understand why.
Perhaps on my part there was a guilty conscience. Guilty that I have let God down. And even let my cell leaders down. It’s overwhelming to see how the Youth group has grown, the ministries they have taken up, and the bond formed among them. And when I looked at my spiritual journey, I couldnt help wondering bout the outcomes if I had pressed on and stayed..
Perhaps my spiritual path would be different today?
Perhaps I wouldn’t be spiritually fluctuating today?
And perhaps.. I wouldn’t feel so much like an old lady to the Youths who are around my age, and therefore, stick to only ppl whom I know? :(
These questions are too agonizing to answer yet unavoidable. But ah.. there’s no use crying over spilt milk. It’s time to pick myself up and give up self-condemnation.. Perhaps God has a will behind it..
Otherwise Lord, if this is part of Your calling in my life, won’t You give me a second chance?